18 July 2020

No more Rejections

HR Success Guide
Author: Antony Xavier

Everything you have ever wanted in life is on the other side of fear

I want to share with you today about a very important topic that you and I would have experienced at least once in our lifetime “Rejections”. When we face Rejections in Life, we all have many Questions that run through our mind. Why I am a failure, why is it happening only for me? And lot more questions.

I would like to quote here a verse from the Bible. Mathew 21:42 says “The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone”. Remember that even God was rejected multiple times by his own people and by his own disciples.

A recent meta-analytic finding on brain says that the ventral and dACC in Brain are most consistently involved in reactions to rejection. Several specific emotions arise from the prospect or presence of rejection, including hurt feelings, loneliness, jealousy, guilt, shame, social anxiety, embarrassment, sadness and anger.

We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some do not. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success.  

Rejections are the most common emotional wound we sustain in daily life; we face Rejections in School, College, Office, and Society and at times in our very Home. Our risk of rejection used to be limited by the size of our immediate social circle. Today we are connected with known and unknown people through social media platforms life Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn etc. each of us are connected to thousands of people, any of whom might ignore our posts, chats and texts [and photos save us feeling rejected as a result.

In addition to these kinds of minor rejections, we are still vulnerable to serious and more devastating rejections as well. When our spouse leaves us, when we get fired from our jobs, snubbed by our friends, or ostracized by our families and communities for our lifestyle choices, the pain we feel can be absolutely paralyzing.

Whether the rejection we experience is large or small, one thing remains constant - it always hurts, and it usually hurts more than we expect it to.

The greatest trap in our life is self-rejection when we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, money, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, I find myself thinking rejected, left alone, or abandoned, "Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody." e.g. [My dark side says,] I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved." Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.”

Rejection is a Key ingredient to creativity and success.

If you are failing it means you are trying, I can quote lots of people from history that were rejected for what they are.  I would like to mention here about one person whom I really inspired. He is Jack Ma. “Founder of AliBaba”. Jack Ma was rejected 30 times when he applied for a Job.  In one of the Job he applied 24 people were interviewed 23 got selected and only he got rejected. He Applied to Harvard and got rejected 10 times.

Finally, I would like to summarize by saying Believe what are you doing. Do what you like it whether people like it or not.

Life is not the box of chocolate; you never know what you can get. I will not feel rejected even if nobody likes this write up, but I will continue to improve.

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